


Till Death Do Us Part

by writingdesire123



Category: Orange is the New Black
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2019-08-11 01:39:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 12,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16466246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingdesire123/pseuds/writingdesire123
Summary: Eight years after having her heart broken, Nicky has moved on and is finally happy. However when a wedding invitation finds its way to her apartment, old shadows from her past will follow her wherever she goes. When tragedy strikes, who will be there to pick up the pieces?Sequel to Through Sickness And In Health





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to my previous story, Through Sickness And In Health. I would advise that if you haven’t already read that one to do so fisrt, if you have...enjoy! 
> 
> Please leave me a comment letting me know what you think. I’m still currently writing this so updates may be a little slower.

Nicky rolled over in her queen sized bed. She reached her arm out to hug her wife but huffed when her arm hit the mattress, bouncing up slightly. She opened her eyes to confirm that her wife wasn't next to her. She began to smell the bacon coming from the kitchen and smiled, knowing where her wife must be. Quickly she got up from the bed and roughly made it before flipping her hair over and tying it up in a messy bun. 

"It's almost ready," said Mandy as she heard Nicky enter the kitchen. If she knew her wife, which she did, she knew that she would be hungry and bacon was one of her favorites. 

"Does this help?" Nicky asked suggestively as she massaged Mandy's shoulders. 

"Actually no, your going to distract me and then I'll burn the bacon and have to start over." Nicky took her hands off Mandy's shoulders and walked over to the coffee maker. 

"Do you want one?" 

"Is that even a question?" replied Mandy with a laugh. After it was made, Nicky poured the coffee into two separate mugs and took them over to the dining table, placing one in front of where she would sit and the other where Mandy would. 

They lived in a large two bedroom apartment in California. Marka has given Nicky a large amount of money which she took gratefully in order to start a new life some place else. 

A few minutes later, Mandy entered the room with two plates with bacon in a roll on each one. She took a seat and sipped from her coffee. 

"You always make it just of I like it," she complimented. 

"Well I've have plenty of practice," Nicky replied, taking a huge bite from the roll. She then swallowed the pill that was next to her mug. She took the pill everyday and it prevented her body from rejecting her new heart. 

"So what are we doing today?" she asked after a few seconds. 

"Well there's this movie I really want to see." Nicky rolled her eyes. Their movie tastes were very different, Nicky preferring horrors whilst Mandy loved Romantic films. 

"I haven't even told you what it is yet," Mandy laughed, picking up on Nicky's eye roll. 

"Yeah but I know it's going to be a romance." 

"Please Nicky, I really want to see it." 

"And why should I go?" Nicky asked raising an eyebrow, whilst trying to be serious. 

"Because you love me." 

"That's true." 

"So you'll go with me?" Mandy questioned with a hint of excitement in her voice. 

"Of course I will." 

Mandy leaned over and hugged Nicky. Nicky placed her hands over Mandy's cheeks and kissed her passionately on the lips. Before they could take it any further Nicky's phone rang. She looked down and saw Red's name on the caller ID. 

"I better take this," said Nicky as she began to walk into the kitchen. Mandy sat back down and took another sip from her coffee. 

"Hey Ma," greeted Nicky as she answered the phone. 

"Hello Honey, how are you?" Red's harsh Russian accent was always music to Nicky's ears. 

"I'm good. And you?" 

"Fine. What are you up to today?" 

"Mandy wants to go to the movies. Some new romance film," Nicky laughed as she said the last part. The two made small talk more a few more minutes before Red spoke in a more serious tone. 

"There's something I need to tell you Nicky. Your going to find out later anyway but I wanted to pre warn you. You know, so you can be prepared." 

"Your not pregnant are you?" laughed Nicky. 

"Nicky!" Red scolded, although she found it hard not to laugh. 

"So what's wrong then?" 

"Well the thing is..." Before Red could say any more, Nicky's phone cut off. 

"Damn," she muttered to herself noticing that her phone was out of charge. She should've charged it last night, she thought. She decided to put it back on charge and call Red back later. She returned to the dining room with the intent to finish her breakfast and coffee. 

^^^^^

One beer, two beers, three beers, four beers, five beers, six beers, seven beers and then six shots. That's how much alcohol it took Nicky to forget the conversation that she had just had with Lorna. Why did she walk away? Why didn't she stay and fight? She left the woman that she loved. She had practically handed her on a plate to Vinny's open, waiting arms. Since when had Lorna liked men? 

Somehow, Nicky had made it home. Her big, empty house. She slumped down on her bed and cried. She cried harder than she had ever cried before. Years of emotion came out that night. The fact that her Mother didn't love her, the fact that all her friends were scattered around the world but most importantly, the fact that she had lost the one person that was supposed to love her for the rest of her life. Nicky thought of Bora Bora, she thought of how Lorna would always bring her baskets of fruit when she was in the hospital and she thought about what Lorna had made her promise. She made her promise that if she survived, they would be together forever. Did Lorna really fall out of love with her that quickly? Had Lorna ever loved her? 

At some point, Nicky fell asleep. She woke up the next morning to her phone ringing. Her eyes stung and she struggled to see through them. Eventually she found her phone and answered it, hoping it was Lorna begging for her forgiveness but was ashamed when she was greeted by Alex's husky voice. 

"Hey Nichols," she greeted. Nicky really didn't want to tell her what had happened but was grateful to be able to talk to someone, it gave her the opportunity to forget everything for a few moments. 

"Hey. How are you?" 

"I'm amazing. I saw Piper this weekend. Things are really good between us. How are you and Lorna doing?" Nicky really didn't know how to answer. After a small amount of consideration, she decided to play along, not wanting to tell Alex everything that had happened the previous day. 

"Good," she replied shorty. 

"Are you sure, you sounded hesitant?" Damn Alex and her intuition. 

"Yep, look Alex, I have to go. Speak soon?" 

"Yeah, speak to you soon." 

As Nicky hung up the phone, she rolled back over on her back and cried again. How had things gotten so bad, so quickly?" 

^^^^^

"Well that was a crap film," said Nicky as she turned the ignition off. She got out of the car. 

"Oh come on Nicky. I know you enjoyed it," Many laughed. 

"I'm just going to check the mail, I'll meet you back inside," Mandy said as she turned her back and walked over to the mail box. Nicky looked for a moment. Mandy's long brown hair flowed behind her back. She was slim and slightly taller than Nicky. Her facial features were sharp, which were complemented by her light blue eyes. Originally Mandy was supposed to be a distraction, but soon she turned into something more. something serious. 

Nicky switched the television on as she slumped down on the light brown leather sofa. She remembered that she was supposed to call Red back but decided that she would do it first thing the next morning as she would probably be asleep by now. 

"Looks like you've got mail," announced Mandy as she entered the apartment holding a golden envelope in her hand. She poured the both of them a glass of red whine before taking a seat next to Nicky, resting her head on her shoulder. She handed Nicky the envelope. Nicky looked at her name printed on the front in fancy lettering before opening it up, unsure as to what was inside. However as Nicky opened it, she wished she hadn't. 

^^^^^


	2. Chapter Two

You are cordially invited to celebrate   
the wedding of  
Piper Elizabeth Chapman   
And   
Alex Pearl Vause   
On Tuesday afternoon   
October 10th   
At two o'clock   
At Acorn Hotel   
Followed by a reception   
Bring a plus one!

^^^^^

Nicky had read the invitation four times before she finally registered that Mandy was asking her a question. 

"What is it Nicky," she asked for a second time, concerned as to what she had just read. Mandy knew everything that had happened before they had met but she had a feeling that it would be something to do with her past. 

Nicky read it once more before she chose to answer Mandy. 

"A wedding invitation." 

"Who's wedding?" 

"Alex. And Piper's." Nicky noticed another bit of paper inside the envelope. She pulled it out. It looked as if it had been ripped from a note book. 

Call me   
-Alex 

"Alex wants me to call her," Nicky explained after a few seconds. 

"Are you going to?" 

"I guess," she replied. 

"Do you want me to stay?" Mandy asked, placing a tender hand on Nicky's knee. 

"Yes please." Nicky's voice was soft, timid. 

"Okay." 

Nicky picked up her phone and began to dial Alex's number, hoping it was the same one that she has all those years ago. Surely enough the line dialled and after only a few rings, a familiar, husky voice answered. A voice that she hadn't heard in almost eight years. 

"Hello?" Alex asked, obviously not knowing it was Nicky on the other end of the line. 

"Alex," stated Nicky, not knowing what else to say. 

"Nicky?" Alex's voice asked, excitedly. 

"Hey Alex."

"Wow. I don't know what to say." 

"You were the one that wanted me to call," Nicky joked.

"I can't believe you called me." 

"So your getting married then?"

"Yeah, I popped the question on the top of a mountain." 

"Just like you always wanted," remembered Nicky. She thought back to all the times she would listen to Alex talk about how she was going to propose to Piper, always on a mountaintop. She smiled slightly. 

"Well congratulations I guess." 

"Thank you. So Nicky, how're you?" 

"I'm good." 

"And your heart?" Nicky could hear the slight tone of worry in Alex's voice. 

"All good." 

"That's good to hear. Look Nicky, there's something I need to ask you?" 

"What is it?" Nicky felt more relaxed now, feeling at ease talking to her best friend after all these years. 

"I wanted to know if you would be my best man. Well best woman?" 

"Seriously?" Nicky asked, surprised. 

"Yes. Your my best friend Nicky. Even after all these years, I want you by my side. So will you?" 

"Of course. It's only three weeks away." 

"Well, that's actually something else I wanted to talk to you about." 

"Go on," said Nicky, confused as to what was coming next. 

"How would you feel about coming back to New York a little earlier. So we can try out outfits and things like that?" 

"I guess so. When exactly?" 

"I was thinking tomorrow?" 

"Tomorrow?" repeated Nicky, feeling a little panicky. She hadn't seen Alex in years. 

"Yeah. I really want to see before I get married." 

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow then," Nicky agreed, finally giving in. 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. But only if I can bring someone with me." Nicky looked over at Mandy who was still sat by her side. 

"Of course you can. Look I have to go, we're meeting Piper's parents for dinner. It was really good to hear your voice again though." 

"Yeah, you too. I'll see you tomorrow then?" 

"Defiantly. Just give me a text when you know what flight your getting and I'll meet you at the airport." 

The two said their goodbyes. Nicky looked over at Mandy. 

"I guess were going to New York then," said Nicky, putting her arm around Mandy. 

"Are you ready?" 

"I guess I'll have to be." 

^^^^^

Nicky felt numb. The words kept replaying over and over in her head. 'You know I love you Nicky, but he's fresh, new'. Nicky couldn't get that sentence out of her mind. Where had they gone wrong? At what point had Lorna fallen out of love with her? Did she ever love her? Don't be stupid, Nicky thought to herself. She knew that Lorna had loved her. But at what point had that love been lost? 

Nicky managed to peel herself off from her bed and into the shower. She smelt of booze and it made her feel dirty. She wrapped herself in a towel and looked in the mirror. Hey eyes were red. As she looked down she glanced at her large scar in between her breasts. Something that Lorna would always admire, and would trace her finger down before planting a kiss at the bottom. 

Nicky could hear someone in the kitchen so she quickly threw on some clothes before rushing down stairs, hoping it would be Lorna. It wasn't and when she saw who it was, she wished she never decided to see who it was. 

"Hello Nicole," said Marka. 

"Hey," replied Nicky, not wanting to get into a conversation with her Mother at that moment. 

"I need you to be out of the house tonight." 

"Why?" Nicky questioned, annoyed. 

"Because I have people coming over." 

"And you don't want them to see me," Nicky finished for Marka. Her mother tried to make up an excuse but it was no use. Nicky knew she was lying. Was she really that hard to love? 

^^^^^


	3. Chapter Three

As Nicky inhaled the smoke from the cigarette in between her fingers she sighed. These past few weeks Nicky had spent the majority of her time, in her bedroom, smoking. She knew the smoke wouldn't be good for her new heart, but she didn't care. The only person she lived for, wasn't in her life anymore. 

The only person who she had told about their break up was Red. Red was the sole person she would talk to these days. She would ignore her calls from Alex, Janae and Poussey. Even Piper had tried to call her a few times, but she ignored those too. Nicky didn't want to speak to them. She knew they would ask about Lorna, and she wasn't ready to tell them about it yet. The more times she said it out loud, the realer in became and Nicky wasn't ready to accept that yet. 

Nicky was aware that it was her that walked away from their relationship, but she didn't want to stay with her if it wasn't what Lorna wanted. Nicky loved Lorna with all her heart. To Nicky, Lorna was her everything. And now that her everything was no longer hers, she didn't know what to do any more. 

Nicky's stomach rumbled. She then remembered that she hadn't eaten in the past three days. She knew that she should probably have something, but she decided against it. Getting something to eat would mean she had to leave her bedroom, and she wasn't ready for that yet. She stubbed our her cigarette on her bedside table that was now covered in cigarette burns, before lighting another one. She had never smoked until three weeks ago but now she had taken a liking to chain smoking, something that offered her emotional relief.

^^^^^

Can we go over the table plan one more time?" asked an excited Piper to Alex, who was sat across the table from her. 

"This will be the fifth time we've looked at it this hour Pipes, I'm sure it will be fine." Piper looked unsure. 

"I'm just worried, we should keep Nicky and Lorna apart right?" 

"Yes, absolutely. Anyway Nicky mentioned bringing someone with her." 

"New love interest perhaps?" 

"Maybe, but I don't know if Nicky would want to do something like that again." 

"Alex, I don't want to offend you but it's been eight years, she could be a completely different person by now." 

Alex didn't know how to reply, so instead she decided to ask the question that had been on her mind since she spoke to Nicky. 

"Are you going to tell Nicky that Lorna is going to be there?" 

"We have to, right?" 

"I just want her to come. She's my best friend, I don't want to put her off." 

"Why don't we just see what she's like? Take it from there." 

"You always know what to say." Alex lent in and kissed her almost wife. 

^^^^^

"Nicky stop. We need to pack," begged Mandy, even though she didn't really want Nicky to stop. Although she didn't listen right away, after she was finished, Nicky emerged from in between Mandy's legs and laid next to her. 

"You never fail to amaze me," said Mandy, kissing Nicky on the lips. 

"It's what I'm good at," Nicky replied, leaning in for another kiss. 

"How are you feeling?" Mary asked as she pulled away, needing to breathe. Nicky stretched her arm out for Mandy to lay in. Only when Mandy's head was against Nicky's shoulder, did she decided to reply. 

"Nervous. What if I see her there?" 

"Say hello. Don't say hello. It's up to you. I'll be there with you through every step. Your not alone now Nicky." 

"I love you Mandy." 

"I love you too Nicky. Now we really need to pack or we will miss our flight and then we'll have something to get nervous about." 

^^^^^

Nicky and Mandy were sat in a coffee shop at the airport waiting for Alex. Nicky had sent Alex a text when they arrived, to which she replied that she would be there in thirty minutes. As Nicky looked around, she remembered the time she was sat in the same seat with Lorna next to her, on their way to Bora Bora. Nicky chuckled to herself as she thought of Lorna's stubbornness in calling it Bora Bora Bora. Nicky began to wonder if she was still like that. For the first time in a while, her mind began to wonder as to what Lora was doing now. Was she happy? She hopped she was. Then Nicky began to think what she would do if she was to see her. Her mind then moved over to Alex. Would she be mad that she left? She never really gave her a proper explanation. Just that she needed to get away. 

"It will all be okay Nick. Alex won't blame you for leaving. Especially after what happened, and I'll be here with you. Two weeks and we can go back," Nicky smiled at Mandy's words. It was as if she could read her mind. 

They made small talk for a while until Nicky's phone lit up with a message from Alex, telling her she was waiting for them at the car park. As they rounded the corner Nicky spotted Alex in a second. Her best friend hadn't changed in all the years they had been apart. She still had the same long, shiny black hair and was still wearing her black leather jacket. 

"Nicky look at me," requested Mandy. Nicky listened and looked at her. 

"Everything will be okay." 

"But what if I see her?" 

"I'll be right here with you. All the time." 

Before she realised it, Nicky was being suffocated in a large hug by Alex. 

"I missed you Midget." 

"I missed you too Stretch," replied Nicky, hugging even harder. Finally, she felt as if she was home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and let me know your thoughts...or if there is anything you would like to see. Thanks!


	4. Chapter Four

"You look well," said Alex as she pulled out of the hug to look Nicky up and down. 

"I am." And she meant it. There was a few seconds of silence before Alex glanced over at Mandy who was still yet to speak. It took Nicky a few seconds to compose herself before she introduced the two. 

"Mandy, this is my best friend Alex and Alex, this is Mandy, my wife." 

If Alex was having a drink, she would've choked on it. To say that Nicky having a wife was a surprise would be an understatement.

"Nicky Nichols actually has a wife?" She laughed. Nicky lightly punched Alex on the arm. 

"When you meet the one you just know, right?" 

"I suppose, anyway let me take you to back to ours. Piper can't wait to see you again Nicky." 

As Alex began to lead the way to her car, Nicky stopped Mandy. 

"It will be okay Nicky, I promise." Mandy kissed Nicky on the cheek before continuing in a lighter tone. 

"We better go before your very tall, scary friend comes after us." Nicky laughed, perhaps coming home wasn't such a bad idea.

^^^^^

Around twenty minutes from the airport Lorna Morello was beginning the start of a very long shift at Wellbeing Hospital. She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled. She had wanted to become a Nurse for years, and now two years into her career, she couldn't be happier. Well, almost. Lorna loved her job, but there was one thing missing. Lorna missed having a person to rely on, she missed having someone to love and someone to love her. Vinny was okay for a while, until he stopped being what she wanted. Since the day her and Nicky split, she'd never felt whole again. 

Just as she was about to step out of the calm and tranquil staff room and into the busy hospital her phone began to ring. She looked down and noticed Piper ringing her. 

"Hey Piper," she answered. The two spoke for around five minutes before Piper's voice turned serious. 

"There's something I need to tell you Lorna." 

"What is it?" Lorna began to rack her mind in order to think about what it could be. 

"Well you know how your my maid of honour, right?" 

"Yes." Lorna had no idea as to where Piper was going with this. 

"And you know how Alex will have one too." 

"Of course." 

"It's Nicky." 

"What's Nicky?" Although she thought she knew what Piper meant, she had to hear her say it. 

"Alex's maid of honour is Nicky." 

Lorna hung up. She was trying to process what she had just learnt. After all these years she would finally see Nicky again, and she didn't know how she felt about it. 

^^^^^Flashback^^^^^

"Nicky, wake up," said Alex, shaking her friend. When Nicky did finally wake up she looked tired and fed up. 

"What's wrong Nick?" Alex questioned worriedly. 

"I need to go," Nicky said, pushing herself up from her bed. 

"Go where?" Alex was becoming increasingly worried about Nicky. 

"Away from here. Away from the constant reminders of her." 

Alex didn't know what Nicky meant, but she helplessly watched her best friend leave her bedroom, not knowing that it would be the last time they would see each other in several years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's short. I know. Please, please leave a comment letting me know what you think. Comments give me motivation and motivation makes me write. See you soon!


	5. Chapter Five

"It's so good to see you again," said Piper as she embraced Nicky in a warm hug. 

"You too Chapman," Nicky replied. 

"Pipes, did you know Nicky has a wife," stated Alex. Whilst driving Nicky and Mandy back to her place, that had been all she had spoken about it. Usually it would annoy Nicky but she had missed her best friend so much, she really didn't mind. 

"Seriously," exclaimed Piper as she pulled away from their hug. 

"I know right. Who would've thought the person that Nicky was bringing with her would be her wife." 

Before Alex could say anything else, Nicky decided to stop them. 

"We are stood right here you know," she reminded. Alex soon stopped talking and Piper looked embarrassed. Piper stepped forward and shook Mandy's hand, who was stood to Nicky's left. 

"I'm Piper," she introduced. 

"Mandy." 

"So your the woman that decided to take Nicky Nichols on then," Piper joked. 

"Well someone's got to," laughed Mandy. Nicky considered herself lucky that her and Mandy shared a similar taste in humour. 

"I think I'm going to like you," said Alex, wrapping an arm round Mandy and leading her into the kitchen. Nicky smiled before following them. She didn't realise how much she had missed her friends and the banter they used to share. 

^^^^^

"Something smells nice," Nicky said as she pushed open the door to Red's bakery The following day. The older woman didn't know that Nicky was coming to visit so Nicky was looking forward to surprising her. 

"Nicky," Red gleefully said as she came from behind the counter and hugged Nicky. 

"What are you doing here?" She asked, still holding on. 

"Wow, thanks Ma. I thought you would like it if I surprised you," said Nicky sarcastically. 

"You know I do. Have a seat, I'll get you something to eat and drink." 

As Red came back and sat down opposite Nicky holding a steaming cup of coffee and a Russian pastry Nicky had never had before, she asked her question once again. 

"Alex and Piper's wedding." 

"Well I missed you Nicky."

"I missed you too Mum." She took a big sip from her mug. While Mandy made a great cup of coffee, no one made it quite like Red. 

"How long are you planning on staying?" 

"Our plane leaves the day after their wedding."

"I was hoping you were going to say you are moving back." 

"You know I can't Mum." 

"I know honey, I know," comforted Red as she placed her hand on Nicky's. 

"Have you seen her yet?" 

"No, but I know I'll have to at some point," Nicky replied, knowing that Red was taking about Lorna. 

"Why didn't you bring Mandy with you? I haven't seen her in a while." Red decided to change the subject, sensing the hint of sadness in Nicky's voice. 

"I planned to but Piper is all over her and I couldn't get her away." 

"Why doesn't that surprise me," Red laughed. They talked for a while longer before Red had to serve a customer. As Nicky watched her pour coffee, Nicky wondered if maybe she could move back to New York. 

^^^^^Flashback^^^^^

"What is someone as pretty as you doing drinking alone?" asked an unfamiliar voice. Nicky had been living in California for five months and so far all she had been doing was drinking and smoking. She knew all the alcohol and smoke wasn't good for her new heart, but at that point, she didn't care anymore. 

She looked around to identify who's voice it was. She came face to face with a beautiful woman. 

"Maybe you could join me and let me buy you a drink and then I wouldn't be drinking alone." 

The woman obliged, let Nicky buy her a drink and sat down on the bar stool next to her. 

"Your accent, your not from around here?" the woman asked although it sounded more like a statement than a question. 

"New York." 

"What brings you all the way over here?" 

"Fresh start I guess." 

""Trouble in paradise?" 

The woman had no idea how right she actually was. 

"You could say that." 

"Care to let me take your mind off it?" 

Nicky definitely liked the look of the woman. It would be the first time she had slept with anyone since Lorna but honestly, maybe that was what she needed in order to move on. 

"I would love that." 

The woman led Nicky into the toilets. She liked how dominant and keen she was. 

"I'm Mandy by the way." 

"Nicky," she replied as Mandy began to unbutton her shirt. 

The following morning, Nicky woke up in a strange bed with Mandy laying naked next to her. She looked at how tranquil she looked whilst in her sleeping state. Could she help her keep her mind off Lorna? As that thought went through her head she realised that, that had been the first time she had though of Lorna since waking up. While she had only been awake for a minute, it was progress. usually she would be her last thought at night and her first thought in the morning. Maybe Mandy could be a good distraction or possibly, something even more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There, a longer chapter. I'm currently working on a Nichorello Christmas story so updates may be a little slower but I promise it will be worth it. As always please leave a comment or even a suggestion for what you would like to see. Thanks!


	6. Chapter Six

"I can't believe that this time tomorrow we will be married," said Piper as she entered the kitchen where Alex, Nicky and Mandy were all sitting. They discussed the wedding for a few minutes before Alex turned her attention on Mandy and Nicky. 

"What was your wedding like then?" she asked. 

Nicky looked over at Mandy before replying. 

"We didn't really have a ceremony." 

"What do you mean?" questioned Piper, who was confused as to why no one would want a wedding ceremony. 

"We eloped." 

"Of course you did," laughed Alex. 

"What's that meant to mean?" Nicky asked, joining in Alex with the laughing. 

"I could never imagine you getting married the traditional way." 

"You know me too well Alex." 

"Did you mind not having a ceremony?" Piper asked, looking over to Mandy. It was obvious that she didn't want to let it go. 

"It really didn't bother me. I got to marry the love of my life. It was a perfect day," she replied, leaning over to kiss Nicky on the cheek. Nicky felt lucky to have someone like Mandy in her life. 

"Look you can say no," began Piper. Where was she going with this, thought Nicky. 

"But Lorna is going to be my maid of honour. I want things to go as smoothly as they can and obviously I don't want there to be any tension. So I was thinking what about if the four of us and Lorna could meet up so you two can break the ice a little bit. What do you think?" 

Nicky didn't know what to think. She didn't know what to say. Mandy looked over at Nicky and noticed the look on her face, so she decided to help her wife out. 

"Well it doesn't sound like a bad idea. What do you think Nicky?" 

When Nicky didn't reply, she said her name again. When Nicky did finally reply, she muttered a small 'suppose so' before excusing herself to go to the toilet. She didn't know what to think. Finally after over eight years she would have to see Lorna again. She was still undecided as to how she felt about it.

^^^^^

the following afternoon Alex and Piper were sat in a cafe awaiting the arrival of Lorna, Nicky and Mandy. It was about twenty minutes later that Lorna arrived. She ordered a coffee and sat down with Alex and Piper. While Alex really didn't want to talk to Lorna after what happened, she decided to be friendly for Piper's sake. 

They spoke for a while until Lorna decided to question where Nicky and Mandy were. 

"I don't know they're really late though," Piper replied. 

"I'll send her a message," Alex said as she pulled out her phone. 

"What happened between the two of you. She's never told me," Alex asked, putting her phone back in her pocket. 

"Alex, you can't ask that," scolded Piper. 

"It's okay I don't mind." replied Lorna, preparing herself for what she was about to say. 

"I slept with a boy from my college. I thought that I had feelings for him. Nicky told me that she wanted me to be happy and if I wasn't happy with her then she would let me go. So she did. She did it in this cafe too. I knew I loved her but I didn't realise how much I loved her until she wasn't mine anymore." Lorna wiped away the tear that was falling from her eye. Neither Alex or Piper knew how to reply. 

"Do you think I could get her back? I still love her." 

Piper and Alex looked at each other before Piper decided to speak up. 

"Lorna, Nicky is married. I'm so sorry." 

Before Lorna could reply, her phone bleeped. 

"There's been a really bad car crash. I have to get to work. I'm sorry." 

Secretly Lorna was glad to get called away. She didn't want to cry in front of Piper and Alex. She had hoped that she still had a possibility of a life with Nicky. She didn't like the idea of Nicky being with someone else. 

^^^^^

At the hospital, Lorna was called into the emergency room. All she knew was that the injuries were serious. When she looked down and saw her bloodied, unconscious patient, her heart nearly stopped and she nearly fell to the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, please comment giving me your thoughts. Thanks!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set two hours before the previous chapter. Enjoy!

"I can't believe I'm going to see her again today," said Nicky, not wanting to make eye contact with Mandy. Mandy placed a calming hand on her knee. 

"I promise it's going to be okay Nicky, maybe this is what you need to finally move on." 

"I guess you could be right." Nicky was glad to have Mandy in her life. After Lorna, she never thought she would be able to love again, but sure enough she did. 

Piper and Alex has gone out earlier to sort out a few final details for the wedding, they said that they would meet them at the cafe. 

"Do you regret the way we got married?" Nicky asked. After the conversation the previous day about their marriage, Nicky couldn't help but think that Mandy would've wanted something more. 

"Of course I don't, I love you Nicky. We're married, that doesn't matter to me." 

"How did I get so lucky?" questioned Nicky, with a smirk. 

"I walked into a bar," Mandy replied. 

"When do we have to leave to meet the others?" Mandy asked, raising her eyebrow. Another quirk she had gotten from Nicky. 

"We don't have to leave for another ten minutes," she suggested knowing where Mandy was going with it. Mandy winked before taking Nicky's top off and gently pushing her against the wall. She looked at the scar between Nicky's breasts. 

It had been over eight years since Nicky had gotten her new heart, at the time she thought it meant she would be able to spend the rest of her life with Lorna, instead she met a different woman, she knew that Mandy was the person she loved. While she would always hold a small part of her heart back for Lorna, the rest belonged to Mandy and she hoped that their meeting later would allow Nicky to move on from Lorna, properly. She was pulled back into the real world when Mandy took a small break from kissing her neck to whisper something in her ear. 

"I love you Nicky Nichols. Every single part of you." 

Nicky knew that they would be late for meeting Piper, Alex and Lorna but she didn't care. She really did want this. 

^^^^^

Nicky and Mandy were snuggling on the sofa of Nicky's apartment. While they still had separate places they spent the majority of their time at Nicky's. They had been dating for two years.  

"Before you moved to California, what was your life like?" Mandy asked, curiously. 

Mandy knew all about Nicky's heart but other than that, she didn't know much about Nicky's life. Nicky knew that this would be the perfect opportunity to tell Mandy about Lorna. 

"Uh, I had a girlfriend. Lorna. We dated for several years throughout Highschool. Just after my heart transplant she moved to London to go to college. While she was there she met someone else. That's all I really have to say." 

Mandy could sense Nicky getting upset, so she decided not to push Nicky and further. 

"I will never leave you for someone else," Mandy said, taking Nicky's head in her hands. 

"I should hope not," said Nicky jokingly although part of her actually meant it. 

^^^^^

After their hot make out session, Nicky and Mandy decided to walk over to the cafe before they were too late. Nicky hailed a cab as she couldn't be bothered to walk the twenty minute distance. 

When someone finally pulled over to pick them up, they both sat in the back and Mandy rested her head on Nicky's shoulder.

"You know, I'm kind of excited to meet Lorna," said Mandy, suddenly. 

"Why?" 

"I want to know who once stole my wife's heart." 

"You know your the only person I love now, right?" questioned Nicky desperately. She needed Mandy to know she only had eyes for her. 

"I do, but I'm interested to meet someone else from your past. She seems to of been a pretty big part of it." 

Since leaving Lorna in the cafe, Nicky hadn't been able to stop thinking about one thing. Why did Lorna stop loving her? She wondered when it was exactly that she had lost her. Nicky sometimes wondered if when Nicky's operation was successful Lorna got spooked by the idea that she would have to spend her life with the same person. Up until that day, Nicky never thought she would get an answer. She loved Mandy, of course she did. But she had never been able to fully remove Lorna from her thoughts. She wondered what her life would be like if they were still together. Would she still be happy? Would she be happier? 

Then from out of nowhere, a van pulled up in front of the taxi they were in, causing the taxi driver to put his foot on the break. Unfortunately, it was too late and they slammed into the van in front. After a few seconds, the car behind them hit them and there was another bang. 

Just as she thought it was over, a car came into the side of them, causing the car to flip. Nicky didn't know how long they were in the air for, but it felt like forever. 

Finally as the car landed, Nicky looked over at Mandy and realised that she was unconscious. She then looked down at her own legs and noticed they were both trapped. Nicky felt faint and as much as she tried to stay awake, she couldn't, shortly falling into an unconscious state herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I should be studying but I can't help it. I'm super motivated at the moment but I can't promise that updates will be as regular as this forever. I literally wrote this just now so I hope it's okay. Now, I'm definitely going to go and study. As always, please let me know what you thought. Next chapter will start directly after this so will still be set before chapter Six. Thanks!


	8. Chapter Eight

One eye open. Two eyes open. Nicky could hear the sirens blaring from around her. She tried to move, but soon realised she couldn't. 

"Mandy," she said worriedly, her voice came out as barely a whisper. She said it again, slightly louder. When there was no reply she looked down at her legs. She remembered that they were trapped. All she could see was blood and it was the most excruciating pain she had ever felt. 

"Hello?" questioned an unfamiliar voice. She looked up and noticed a Paramedic, looking at her through the window. The car was on its side. 

"My wife, she's not responding. Please help her." she begged, as loud as she could, which wasn't very loud. 

"Don't worry about her. Someone else will deal with her. My priority is you. Tell me where you are you hurt?" 

"My legs, I can't move them, but please help her first." 

The paramedic re assured Nicky that Mandy would be okay. 

Soon, two men entered the car and began to try to free her. Mandy was still unconscious and she was sure she had heard someone say that the taxi driver was dead. 

She wasn't sure exactly how long she had been trapped but she guessed it was about three hours since it had started getting dark. 

"Nicky, I need you to listen to me really carefully," said the Paramedic, looking at her directly in the eye. She nodded her head in acknowledgment, too weak to speak. 

"We're going to sedate you, so we can move you out easier and painlessly."

While Nicky wanted to argue against it, she couldn't so instead nodded her head once again.

She looked over at her wife, who was still unconscious with three people gathered around her, trying to free her. 

Nicky didn't realise what was happening until she felt a needle prick into the crease of her elbow. Soon enough, her eyes felt heavy and just like before, she fell unconscious. 

^^^^^

At the hospital, Lorna was called into the emergency room. All she knew was that the injuries were serious. When she looked down and saw her bloodied, unconscious patient, her heart nearly stopped and she nearly fell to the ground. 

"Patient's name is Nicky," began the Paramedic. 

"We suspect she's broken both of her legs, she's been given two milligrams of morphine and we've put her under an anaesthetic, to free her from the car, she was trapped for approximately four hours." 

Lorna couldn't believe what she was seeing. Nicky was here, laying in front of her. Seriously injured. Before she could stop herself, she began to speak. 

"She's has a heart transplant." 

The lead Doctor looked at her. 

"When did this happen?" 

"About nine years ago." 

"How do you know this patient, Nurse Morello?" he asked. Lorna knew she couldn't say how she actually knew Nicky, so instead she decided not to tell the whole truth about their history. 

"We used to go to school together." 

The Doctor did a few quick examinations before deciding that she would be fine but had broken both of her legs and would need surgery to fix them. 

Lorna wanted to see Nicky again, but not like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another shorter chapter but I wanted to get something out as I won't be able to update for the next couple of days. Please leave me a comment and let me know what you think. See you soon, thanks!


	9. Chapter Nine

Looking at Nicky in a hospital bed reminded Lorna of when she had her heart surgery. Lorna thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with Nicky after that, but she had to go and ruin it. She always ruined it. Looking back, she knew how stupid she was. In reality, she hadn't gotten over Nicky and it pained her to know that Nicky had. Although, at least she was happy, she though. After everything she had been through, she really did deserve happiness. 

Lorna listened to the constant beating of Nicky's heart through the heart monitor, it was almost soothing. Nicky's face was cut and bruised. The crash had been serious and Lorna was shocked that Nicky hadn't sustained more serious injuries. although she supposed two broken legs would disable Nicky for a few months, she was going to recover. 

Even through the trauma she had been through, Nicky looked peaceful in her slumber. When they were still together, Lorna loved to watch Nicky sleep. Not in a creepy way, but she was finally able to see Nicky without a pained expression on her face. She knew that Nicky had been so brave during everything that had happed with her heart, but she wondered how she would she would handle not being able to walk for several months and of course, the condition of her wife. 

"Oh my girl," gasped Red as she entered the hospital room. Her eyes scanned Nicky's condition, and it pained her to see her battered and bruised body. She then looked across at the the petite, brunette sat next to her, gently stroking her hair. 

"Lorna?" She asked bemused. "What are you doing here?" 

Lorna couldn't imagine that this encounter would go well, after all she broke her daughters heart. Red would surely hate her. 

"I'm sorry, I'm a Nurse here. I wanted to keep her company until you came." 

Then Red did something that Lorna did not expect. 

"Thank you," she said, gratefully. 

"I'll let you be," said Lorna, standing up. She looked at Nicky once more before leaving the room. 

^^^^^

As Lorna walked through the corridors of the hospital, she came across Piper and Alex, sat in the waiting room. She was off shift now so she sat down next to Piper. 

"How is she?" asked Alex, panicked. 

"She will be okay. But both of her legs are broken and she's got concussion. She's just gotten out of surgery. Reds with her right now." 

"And Mandy?" questioned Piper. Lorna simply shook her head. Piper looked down at her hands. They sat in silence for several minutes before a doctor came into the waiting room. 

"Nicky is awake but she's groggy. One of you can go and see her if you like." 

They agreed that Alex would go and eventually swap with Piper. 

^^^^^flashback^^^^^

"This place is beautiful Nicky," said Mandy, kissing Nicky on the cheek. 

"Not as beautiful as you," replied Nicky, smirking. 

"Stop it," laughed Mandy, jokingly. 

They were lying on the golden beach, over looking the clear, tranquil water. The place reminded her of Bora Bora, but Nicky tried to push that from her memory. 

"I really love you Nicky," said Mandy, snuggling into Nicky's side. 

"I love you too," replied Nicky, planting a soft kiss the side of her head. The truth was, she really did love Mandy. Lorna would always be  in her heart but she really could see a future with Mandy. She really did love her. 

Mandy traced her finger along Nicky's fair scar. 

"What if we were to get married?" suggested Nicky, seriously. 

"Are you serious?" asked Mandy, her eyes lighting up. 

"I love you Mandy and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." 

"Are you proposing to me?" 

"If I was, what would you say?" 

"I would say, yes," Mandy smiled, leaning in to kiss Nicky on the lips. 

That night they eloped, and Nicky had never been happier.


	10. Chapter Ten

As Nicky slowly regained consciousness, the first thing that she could hear was Red, whispering calming words into her ear. It was a huge comfort to Nicky. Nicky opened her eyes, and saw Red leaning over her. 

"Nicky, honey, how are you feeling?" Nicky didn't reply. How did she get here, she thought. Then it came back to her. the cab, and the crash and Mandy. Mandy, where was Mandy? She began to panic and her heart rate began to increase, which the monitor measuring every beat of her heart picked up on. 

"It's okay Nicky, you have to calm down," Red coaxed, rubbing soft circles on her head. When Nicky eventually did, she looked up at Red with her big brown eyes and asked a question that she was dreading the answer to. 

"Where's Mandy?" She knew that if Mandy was okay, she would be right here with her. 

"I think you should take a nap Nicky," Red replied, completely ignoring her question. 

"No," Nicky shook her head, "I want to know where my wife is." Red's eyes went soft and she looked at Nicky sympathetically. 

"Mandy suffered a bad head injury. The Doctors don't think shes going to wake up." 

At that moment, Nicky's whole world came crashing down around her. She instantly forgot the pounding headache that she had and the excruciating pain that her legs were in. She began to sob loudly. Red took her in her arms as tightly as she could. 

Nicky couldn't believe what was happening. Finally, after years of being heartbroken because of Lorna, she had met a woman whom she believed could make her happy. Mandy made her complete and without her she didn't know what she could do. 

"Please I want to see her," she begged in between sobs. 

"I don't think you will be allowed. You've broken both of your legs Nicky." 

"Please, she's my wife, I have to say goodbye." 

Red knew that if she was Nicky, she would want to say goodbye. 

"I'll speak to the Doctor." 

^^^^^

Nicky was wheeled into Mandy's hospital room, where Alex was sat on the seat. Somber music was playing quietly in the background. 

"They said it would help to relax her," said Alex, referring to the music. 

"I'll leave you alone," she continued, squeezing her shoulder before following the Nurse out. Nicky had been wheeled right next to the bed, and she placed a hand on top of Mandy's. 

"I don't know what you think your doing," she began, joking slightly because she didn't know what else to do. 

"We were going to redecorate the apartment and I can't do it. I can't do anything without you." 

Tears began to fall freely from Nicky's eyes. 

"You are the kindest and most generous person I know, and it makes me feel so special to think that you kept a little part of yourself back for me." 

Nicky was sure that she felt Mandy squeeze her hand slightly. 

"We have made so many happy memories together, memories that I will never forget." 

Nicky thought back to their first meeting, and their wedding and all of the times that Mandy would comfort her when she was upset. Sure, at the beginning Mandy was a distraction from Lorna, but as time went on, Nicky really loved her. 

"I don't think I can do it without you." 

That was the truth. Her life would never be the same again. She knew that Mandy could hear her so she knew that she had to speak comforting words to her, even if she didn't feel like it. 

"It's okay Mandy. You can let go. I'm here and I promise that i'm not going anywhere," she spoke softly. Mandy's heart monitor began to speed up before reducing down to slower, longer beeps. Nicky knew the time was getting closer and any final words, had to be said immediately. 

"I love you Mandy. Always." 

The monitor was stuck in one continuous beep, and Nicky knew that Mandy's heart had stopped beating. She reached over and was just able to press the button in order to stop it. The room was plunged into silence and Nicky placed her head over her wife's lifeless body. She cried until she had no tears left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I know its short. Please comment and let me know what you thought of this chapter. If you haven't already, please check out my new story 'Kidnapped Heart'. I'm feeling pretty motivated with that one so the updates are likely to be more frequent. Thanks!


	11. Chapter Eleven

The days became weeks and the weeks became months, but for Nicky, it all felt the same. She missed Mandy's funeral due to still being in the hospital, but in reality, she didn't really mind. It would be too painful. 

Nicky sat in her wheelchair, as her legs were still severely broken, staring out the window in Red's apartment. 

"Warm cookies?" Red asked entering the living area, holding a plate of chocolate chip cookies that she had just taken out of the oven. She knew that they were Nicky's favourite. Nicky ignored her so she tried again, crouching down to be on Nicky's level. 

"I know they're your favourite, it might cheer you up a little." Nicky chuckled under her breath and for the first time since Red had entered the room, she looked at her. 

"Do you really think warm cookies is going to solve anything? If you've forgotten, my wife is dead," she almost shouted. Red let out a long breath, she didn't know what to do to help, except offer her love and support. 

"I know right now that you feel like life will never get better, but trust me it will. I've seen you down before Nicky and you picked yourself up, and at some point, you will again." Nicky shook her head, clearly angry. 

"I shall repeat myself once more. My wife is dead. This isn't like when I had heart surgery. She is gone, she's not coming back. I'll never see her again." Not knowing what else to say, Red kissed Nicky on her temple.

^^^^^

Two weeks later, Alex and Piper returned from their honeymoon. They cancelled their wedding and eloped in Las Vegas a few weeks later. They decided to pay Nicky a visit the day they got back. 

"Hey Nichols," greeted Alex. Nicky was in the exact same spot she was two weeks ago, staring out of the window at nothing. Without getting a reply, she spoke again. 

"You should be getting your cast off soon right? That must be a relief. It must be unbeatably itchy and hot underneath that." Once again, Nicky didn't reply.  

Alex began to talk about their wedding and their honeymoon before she heard Nicky mutter something. 

"What was that?" She asked, having not heard what Nicky had said due to her talking. 

" I said please leave," she replied a little louder. Alex was bemused, she thought her friend would be happy to see her.

"I'm just trying to cheer you up." 

"I don't want you to cheer me up. Leave." Alex did as she was told, not wanting to annoy Nicky anymore. 

^^^^^flashback^^^^^

Nicky tossed and turned in their large bed. Mandy looked over and noticed her new wife was drenched in sweat. She shook her lightly, trying to wake her from her restless slumber. 

"Nicky," she whispered loudly. Nicky began to mutter incoherent words. Mandy shook her a little harder, getting increasingly worried about her wife. 

Nicky's eyes suddenly opened wide and she let out a loud gasp and sat bolt up right. 

"Nicky, it's okay, your safe," coaxed Mandy, trying to get her to lay back down. She pulled Nicky's head on her chest. She rubbed loving circles on the top of her head, allowing her to calm down. As Nicky's breathing slowed down, Mandy decided to ask Nicky what was the matter. 

"What were you dreaming about hon?" 

Nicky told her about how she dreamt about Lorna leaving her and her heart surgery. Mandy smothered Nicky in kisses and whispered sweet nothings in her ears. 

It was in that moment that Nicky knew she was happy to spend the rest of her life with Mandy and she didn't need Lorna to make her happy anymore. She really loved Mandy and it was a beautiful feeling. Her wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't updated this in ages, and once again I'm sorry it's so short. I know I keep saying I'm going to make the chapters longer but I'm just super unmotivated by this at the moment. Anyway, please, please, please let me know what you thought. If you have any suggestions for this, I would also love to hear as I'm don't really know where I want to take this anymore. See you soon. Thanks!


	12. Chapter Twelve

Four months later 

"Gosh, I need a break," complained Lorna, looking over at her work friend, Daya. 

"Don't we all?" she replied, slightly sarcastically. Lorna didn't know what to say, so she chose not to say anything. Noticing the look of uncertainty on her face, Daya sighed and spoke again. 

"Although I suppose you've had it a little harder these past few months. Have you seen much of Nicky?" 

Lorna shook her head. 

"Nope. As soon as she had her casts taken off she went straight back to California. I tried to go and visit her a few times while she was still around but she didn't want to see me. Although, I guess I deserve it." Daya could sense that Lorna was feeling upset, so she placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

"You don't deserve it Lorna. You were saying you needed a break, and you have plenty of holiday saved up so why don't you go to California and see Nicky?" 

"What if she doesn't want to see me?" 

"Then you get to relax on Californian beaches. I hear it's a great place." 

Lorna considered what Daya has just said. Rather than waiting around for something to happen that obviously isn't going to happen, perhaps she should do something about it. 

"You still up for dinner tonight?" Daya asked, changing the subject. 

"Of course. I better get back to work but I'll see you tonight."

^^^^^

The bright light was bursting through the window in Nicky's apartment. She rolled over and checked the time on her phone. It was one in the afternoon. No wonder her stomach was grumbling so loudly, she thought. Reluctantly she sat up and swung her feet round and placed them on the cold, wooden floor. She rolled them a few times as they were stiff before standing up and trudging over to the kitchen. She made herself a coffee and poured a bowl of cereal, even though it was mid afternoon. She missed waking up to the smell of her wife making breakfast in the morning. 

Nicky sat at the long, oak table and ate the cereal quickly. Her stomach finally stopped making sounds. 

After she finished, she left the empty bowl and mug on the table and walked over to the sofa. She pulled the blanket that was resting over the back of the sofa onto her and fell back into a restless slumber. When she was asleep, she didn't have to think about missing Mandy. 

^^^^^

"Lorna, this is my girlfriend, Dominga," Daya introduced. Lorna shook the hand of the other woman. 

"Most people call me Daddy," Dominga said. 

"Daddy?" Lorna questioned. 

"Yeah, long story." 

The three were at a small, restaurant in town. Lorna had once been there years ago with Nicky. The thought made her smile. 

As the evening went on, all Lorna could think about was seeing Nicky again. 

"Lorna, is everything okay?" questioned Daya, looking concerned. 

"Actually. I think your right. I should go to California. I'm going to see if I can book a ticket." 

Lorna didn't know what the outcome of her impromptu trip would be, but she did know that she needed to be there for the person that she once loved. The person that she still loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just trying to finish this now. When I first started writing this I had so many more plans for it but for some reason I'm super unmotivated by it. Please let me know what you thought. Also if you haven't already, please check out my other two fics 'Love Between Bars' and 'Kidnapped Heart' they are a lot longer and I'm more motivated in writing them.  Thanks!


	13. Chapter Thirteen

A cold bowl of spaghetti hoops stared Nicky in the face. She threw her fork down and picked up the bowl before placing down next to the skink, amongst the other unwashed plates and bowls. Her stomach grumbled, she was hungry but even the thought of food made her feel ill. 

Her new routine was simple. She would wake up early afternoon, heat up something from a can, not eat it, go to sleep on the sofa and then early hours of the morning she would stumble her way back to bed, only to wake up and start it all again. 

The silence in the apartment was deafening. Nicky thought that soon, she would wake up in bed and Mandy would be there and this whole thing was just a terrible dream. However with each day that passed her hopes began to lessen. Red, Piper and Alex had all tried to ring her on several occasions but she ignored them, she couldn't bring herself to talk. In fact she hadn't used her voice in weeks. 

She slumped herself on the sofa, and tried to go  to sleep. 

^^^^^

Lorna had brought a plane ticket, all she needed to do now was find Nicky's address. She knocked loudly on Red's front door, feeling nervous as to what the older woman was going to say. Lorna knew that she hadn't treated Nicky right. Red answered and look slightly confused. 

"Can I come in?" she asked, attempting to cover her shaky voice. Red simply nodded. Lorna walked in and sat down on the sofa, rather uncomfortably. 

"So what can I do for you Lorna?" Red asked as she sat down opposite her. Lorna could tell that she wasn't best pleased to see her. 

"Well I've taken some time off work and I really want to go to California to see Nicky." 

"I'm not sure that's wise. She's not in a good way." 

"I think she needs company Red. She must be lonely." Lorna was determined to argue her case. 

"You will only make it worse."

And there it was. Red was right, Lorna would only make it worse. Lorna knew that but she couldn't stay away. She knew that Nicky did need her and she was going to be there for her. 

"Please Red. She needs company." Lorna was practically begging right now. Lorna could tell that Red was thinking about it. She lent forward and wrote something on a small piece of paper. She folded it up and held it between her index and middle finger. 

"Don't make anything worse," she warned before handing the paper to Lorna. 

"Now leave, I have things to do." 

Lorna thanked her and left. Now was the hard part. 

^^^^^flashback^^^^^

Mandy's warm breath tickled Nicky's cheek. 

"Urgh, morning breath," Nicky joked, planting a big wet kiss on Mandy's lips. Mandy rolled over, pouted and pretended to sulk. Nicky leaned over and tried to kiss her again but was swatted away by Mandy's hand. 

"I was just kidding," she moaned. 

"I suppose if you made me breakfast I could forgive you." Mandy was struggling to hide her smile. 

Nicky agreed and trudged off to the kitchen, with the biggest grin on her face. 

^^^^^endflashback^^^^^

A loud knocking awoke Nicky from her restless slumber. She ignored it. And the second time. And the third but on the fourth she sighed and peeled her body from the sofa. Slowly she walked over to the front door and opened it. When she saw who it was, she was in complete shock. 

"Hey Nicky," Lorna greeted, a little nervously. 

"What are you doing here Lorna?" Her voice was slightly croaky. 

This was going to be a long night.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

"Thought you could use some company," Lorna replied smiling. 

"I don't need company." Nicky had no idea how Lorna had found her. 

Lorna sighed, this wasn't working out at all. 

"Can I come in?" Lorna watched as Nicky was obviously thinking things through. Eventually she nodded and let Lorna in. 

The second Lorna entered there was a very unpleasant smell hit her. She wrinkled her nose up. Nicky looked at her and scowled. 

"Something not to your liking?" Nicky asked, sarcastically. 

"When was the last time you cleaned this place? Or yourself for that matter." 

"If you don't like it you can leave." Nicky sat back down on the sofa and pulled the blanket over her. She switched on the TV. Lorna sat down next to her. 

"So how are you?" she asked, not really sure what else to say. 

"How do you think I am Lorna?" 

"I'm just trying to make conversation." Lorna was beginning to get fed up from Nicky's behaviour. 

"Well I didn't ask you to come. I don't want your company and I don't want to engage in conversation with you." 

"Everyone has been trying to call you Nicky. We're all worried about you." 

Nicky scoffed. 

"If you really cared for me Lorna, you wouldn't have left me all those years ago. I loved you Lorna. I needed you and you weren't there. You had your tongue down some guy's throat. I mean what did he give you that I didn't?" She was practically yelling now. 

And there it was, thought Lorna. 

"Nicky, I cannot express how much I regret that. I regretted it almost instantly. I tried to call you but you didn't pick up. No one knew where you went." 

"You need to leave." Nicky's voice was stern and determined. 

"I'm not waking away from this Nicky. I've flown all the way here just to talk to you. You need company." 

"You don't get it do you?" Nicky's voice was deep. 

"Get what?" 

"I don't want to see you. You were the love of my life and you left me. So go, and don't come back again." 

Realising that she wasn't going to win this battle, Lorna softly nodded her head. She stood up from where she was sat and softly kissed Nicky on the cheek. Nicky looked at Lorna, as if to question her. 

"You don't get it either you do. I still love you Nicky. I always have and I always will. You know my number if you need me." With that Lorna left, leaving Nicky with her mouth wide open. 

Nicky's hands were under the blanket and it was only when she removed them from the blanket she realised that they were shaking. In fact her whole body was shaking. At first she felt angry. How dare Lorna come to her apartment and admit that she still loved her, especially after she kissed another guy and her wife had just died. Then she felt sad. She felt sad for Mandy and she felt sad for her younger self. Her younger self whom had her heart broken and felt as though she would never feel better. But when she met Mandy, things did get better and now, she was heartbroken again. Finally she felt confused. She loved Mandy with all her heart, but there was something about Lorna. The love she once felt for her never really went away and that confused the hell out of her. 

Suddenly feeling the need to vomit, she rushed over to the toilet. She emptied her guts and when she was sure she was finished, she slumped down the wall. She hadn't vomited in years, but the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach had been threatening her for days. After a few moments she stood back up and rinsed her mouth out with some water. 

Looking in the mirror, she unbuttoned the first few buttons from her pyjama shirt, revealing the pink scar from her heart surgery. She looked at it intently before tracing it with her finger. 

00000flashback00000

As Lorna entered the bathroom, hoping to take a relaxing bath, she saw Nicky stood in front of the mirror, shirtless. 

"Are you okay Nicky." Nicky looked round temporarily before looking at the mirror once again. 

"It's so big." The scar in between her breasts was red. She had her bandages removed the day before and all she had done since then was think about it. 

"It is," agreed Lorna stepping forward and resting her head on Nicky's bare shoulder.

"And ugly," Nicky continued, not really hearing what Lorna had said. 

"It's not ugly Nicky." 

"Of course it is. What will people think when they see it." 

"Who else sees you topless?" Lorna asked, joking slightly. 

"You know what I meant." 

"No one but me is going to see it Nicky. And I think it is beautiful. I think you are beautiful. Inside and out." 

Lorna took her finger and traced it over the scar, whilst kissing Nicky's neck. 

"I love you Lorna." 

"I love you too Nicky. Always." 

Nicky smiled. She felt blessed to have met someone like Lorna. Someone who would love her no matter what. 

00000endflashback00000

'I love you Lorna' 

'I love you too Nicky. Always' 

Nicky kept repeating that over and over again. Maybe deep down she did still love Lorna.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've finished with uni now so I should have more time to write. Let me know if you have anything you would like to see and tell me what you thought of the chapter. Thanks!


	15. Chapter Fifteen

For the first time in weeks, Nicky was asleep her her bed, wrapped up in the warm duvet. She awoke to the feeling of warm breath on the back of her neck. 

"Morning sleepy head," giggled a familiar voice. Nicky couldn't believe what she was hearing. Quickly, she turned over to the other side and came face to face with Mandy. 

"What the hell?" Nicky's voice became higher with each word she spoke. 

"Aren't you pleased to see me?" 

"Well of course. But what are you doing here?" Nicky stuttered. 

"I'm here to tell you it's okay Nicky." Mandy placed a hand on Nicky's shoulder. Nicky was now sat upright and Mandy was only inches from her face. 

"What's okay?" 

"It's okay to love other people Nicky." 

"I can't betray you like that." 

"It would be betrayal if I was still here. But I'm not." 

"You don't have to remind me." Nicky was perfectly aware that she was dreaming, but she was willing to stay in this dream for as long as she possibly could so long as she could be with Mandy. 

"I love you more than anything Nicky, and that is why I want to make sure you are going to be okay." Nicky simply shook her head. 

"I love you more than anything too." Mandy let out a small sigh and smiled slightly. 

"Almost more then anything," Mandy said softy. She had a sad but reassuring smile still plastered on her face. 

"Almost? What do you mean?" 

"Lorna." Mandy only had to say one word to get her point across. 

"I'm so sorry Mandy." Mandy slowly shook her head. 

"Don't be sorry Nicky. I know you love me, but I also know you love her more. And that's okay. You've given every part of yourself to me for years and now it's time for someone else to have that. You love Lorna, Nicky, and you won't be happy until your with her. Go chase your dreams." 

Nicky didn't know how to reply. It was clear that Mandy knew her better than she knew herself. 

"Your right," Nicky replied simply. 

"I'm always right." They both shared a small laugh.

"What now?" She felt truly lost. 

"Well first your going to shower and clean the apartment. Then you are going to phone Lorna and take her out for dinner, make things right." Nicky nodded. 

"I guess I could do with a shower."

"Yes you absolutely could." They both laughed again. 

"I have to go now," Mandy said. Panic became evident in Nicky's face. 

"No you can't leave, not yet. I'm not ready." 

"Your more ready than you believe." Nicky was silent for a few moments before speaking up, her eyes lined with tears. 

"Can I kiss you? One last time, just to say goodbye." 

Mandy smiled and nodded her head. Slowly, Nicky leaned forward and kissed Mandy on the lips, softly, full of love. It lasted for a few moments before she pulled away again. 

"Thank you Mandy, for everything." 

"No, thank you Nicky." 

"What happens if I need you?" Nicky asked suddenly. 

"You won't need me, not when you have Lorna. However if you miss me I'll be right here." Mandy placed her hand over Nicky's heart. Nicky closed her eyes in content. 

"I love you Mandy." 

"I love you too Nicky." 

Nicky kept her eyes closed for a few more seconds. When she finally opened them, she was laying back down, surrounded by the duvet, alone. She sighed. Mandy was right. Mandy was always right. So, with a huge amount of effort, she left her bed and trudged into the bathroom. She stripped free from her clothes and fiddled with the shower until it was at the right temperature. She stepped in and let the warm water run down her body. It felt so good. 

After her shower, she sat back on her bed, wrapped in a long, white towel. She took her phone from her bedside table and dialled a very familiar number. Before pressing call, she looked over at where Mandy had been earlier. She pressed one hand to her heart and used her other to press call. 

The phone only rang three times before the other person answered. 

"Nicky, I didn't expect you to call," Lorna said, excitedly. 

"No, neither did I." 

"So why are you calling then?" Nicky was silent for a moment. 

"I wanted to know if you want to go to dinner tonight." 

"What?" Lorna chocked. 

"There's this lovely little restaurant near where I live. I think you'd love it there and I wondered if you wanted to go. Tonight." Without thinking, Lorna replied. 

"I would love to Nicky." 

"Really?" Nicky was slightly surprised. 

"Really," Lorna said, repeating what Nicky had just said. 

"Great, I'll text you where it is." 

The two said their goodbyes before Nicky hung up. She got changed into some clothes that she could wear at the restaurant and then did the next thing Mandy told her to do. Clean the apartment. 

^^^^^

It was hours later and Nicky sat at a table in the restaurant, waiting for Lorna. When she walked in, Nicky's heart skipped a beat. 

"Wow, you look great," Nicky said as Lorna approached her. Nicky stood up and the two embraced for a second before they both sat down. 

"Thank you, as do you," Lorna replied finally. 

"So how are you?" Nicky asked. She didn't want them to fall into an awkward silence. 

"Yeah, I'm good. And you?" 

"I'm getting there," Nicky smiled. 

They spoke and laughed all through the night as if nothing had ever happened between them. Nicky didn't remember being this happy in a long time. Lorna really did mean everything to her. When the night came to a close and they were saying goodbye, Nicky realised that she wasn't ready for another goodbye. Not again. Not ever. 

She caught up with her as she began to walk away and gently tugged her shoulder. 

"Where are you staying at the moment?" 

"Oh just at some crappy hotel," Lorna replied honestly. 

"Why don't you come home with me?" 

"What?" 

"You can take my bed, I'll sleep on the sofa. We can pick your stuff up in the morning." 

"I'd like that. I'd really like that." 

They both smiled at each other.

^^^^^

Nicky and Lorna were both on the sofa, watching a movie.

"It looks cleaner in here now than it did yesterday," remarked Lorna. 

"I felt like tidying." 

Lorna stopped watching the film and looked over at Nicky. 

"Nicky, look at me." Nicky did as asked. 

"What is it Lorna?" 

"Why are you being like this? You didn't want to know you yesterday. What happened?" Nicky took a deep breath. 

"Last night, someone talked some sense into me. She told me that you are the most important thing to me, and she was right. I've had to live years without seeing you and I never want to have to go through that again." Nicky's voice was soft but held a certain determination to it. 

"Your going through a lot right now. Please don't say things that you don't mean." 

"I couldn't lie to you Lorna. You are all I want." 

"What about Mandy?" Lorna couldn't believe what she was hearing. 

"I loved Mandy, I still love Mandy and I alway will. But I still love you too. I know she would want me to be happy and the only way I can be happy is if I'm with you." 

Lorna didn't reply, she didn't need to. She rested her head on Nicky's shoulder and Nicky wrapped an arm around her. 

"Where do we go from here?" Lorna asked, looking up but not moving her head. 

"We follow our hearts. See where it leads us." 

"As long as I'm with you, I'll go anywhere," Lorna replied. 

Nicky's heart swelled. With her free hand, she placed it on her heart. She mouthed 'thank you' before removing it and looking over at Lorna, who was now sound asleep, on her shoulder. She kissed her gently on the head. This felt right. This was right. Finally after being broken for so long, she was putting her life back together, piece by piece.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought, I need the motivation. Also, what did you think of the trailer?


End file.
